Saturday, July 01, 2006

In the times after my finding I have experienced times when I was searching
I soared to heights after I found and became found
Being found is the foundation of humanity
To be found is to be grounded
The maximum is our minimum
G-d's expectations are our standards
His standards are our requisites
Our requisites should be our expectations - and no other
And only the grounded can fly
They begin to occupy a space not in place or time
And they ask, and it rains dimes
That land on their plates and in their minds
From the Most High
Times when I've been searching since then
Even then the valleys were higher than the peaks
Which I reached before I saw and understood
My lowest day in the past four years
Has been higher than my highest day beforehand
When life was crisis
Those days are shattered to me, I can't even fathom them
They have sunk to uncountable fathoms
Who dare say that G-d doesn't exist?!
A man cannot rise out of despair by his own volition
G-d is a Savior and He lives forever
And it is the Gentle Hand of our L-rd, Hashem ha-Kadosh Baruch Hu
Who flings a soul up with the bend of His Finger
Don't you know that men cannot fly?

I could not touch joy; I thought there was something wrong with me
The deep sadness that pervaded my vision, fading everything to gray
My heart imploded inside me, my sensation drained like blood from a vein
Joy was vain
Now I know what it was
I hated the drugs and sexual recreation of those my age
Once I knew of the latter, I let it go for Jacob's ladder
Only to know it later when the time has arrived to know
For those who don't know don't glow

It was not joy that I could not touch
It was falsehood, and our generation's folly is
The mixing of joy with falsehood
The idols with the healthy breasts -- see Isis
The idols with the clean-shaven chests and faces -- see Greek row
See 21st Century paganism there
In our institutions of higher learning
Who there has a higher yearning, a higher burning?
They are paving the paths of the future
We have been shown the pure way and more
We have been commanded it
G-d is our Light and Savior
He is our Lightsaver, our Lifesaver
The Floaty in the torrential ocean
And the evil past has been bound, choked, and drowned, murdered mercilessly
Beneath the waves of that ocean
Like a Titanic that won't ever be resurrected
Killed and broken in the depths of the ocean
Where there is no light
One day I can't write anything
All I absorb or that I exude has to stay fresh in my mind
This is the most real state in which one can live
And that day is a sign of the future days
When all the world is the World to Come
Only now can I jot them down
This is the way one should live, not resorting to paper for his memory's sake
But life should be written in the world
When this world has become the World to Come
The sun was dropping below the horizon to the west/northwest
Making a mockery of the luminescence of everything
A degree of brilliance not attainable
It shot me back to my childhood
When things were felt with such naturally-occuring charisma
To a place far away in space, to the holiest of lands
It reminded me of something that I saw there
And I can't quite place my finger on it, all I know is that it reminded me
Inside every adult is the version of the person whom they were
The child who saw things unhindered, unobstructed by... what is the word?
Life? No, for they saw life
Practicality? No, for only ideals are practical
Reality? No, their version is reality
Perhaps a word for which there is none
Maybe falsehood
They are proof that the truth of G-d is euphoric
But only because it is G-d and truth is it euphoric
Those who know this are with G-d and they stay children forever
And then, how can the world grow old or anything in it?
Our King Solomon said, "Nothing is new under the sun."